Officials say highest alert level remains “empty net”
The Canadian military is reportedly testing a new emergency mobilization phrase designed to make national defence more immediately understandable to Canadians.
Under the proposed system, troops would be alerted with the phrase: “The enemy has the puck.”
Officials say the phrase was selected after focus groups found Canadians responded more quickly to hockey terminology than traditional military language such as “hostile incursion,” “strategic escalation,” or “please take this seriously.”
Military planners say the system would allow commanders to communicate urgency using familiar concepts like “clear the zone,” “protect the crease,” and “stop passing it up the middle.”
Defence officials stressed the phrase does not mean Canada is currently at war, only that someone may be forechecking aggressively near the border.
Naval forces will reportedly use the phrase “dump and chase,” though officials admit that already describes most procurement strategies.
The Air Force has requested its own terminology, including “top shelf,” “screened by cloud cover,” and “somebody cover that guy.”
A military spokesperson said the system is not intended to make war sound like hockey, but admitted, “It does help morale if everyone knows we’re killing the penalty.”
Officials say the public should remain calm unless they hear the phrase, “They pulled the goalie,” at which point all bets are off.
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